Angry kimono is angry

I do dislike clothing with inadvertent facial expressions, and this kimono thing is clearly furious.  At whom or what is not clear, but I'd stand well away if I were you.  Mind you, how outraged would you be were your face enblazoned all over a pillowcase from Brentford Nylons?

£25, River Island.

What is that terrible clanging sound?

Is it an old bike being flung into a skip?  A brick being turned in a cement mixer to remove the dried-on clag?  Oh, I see:  the dreadful cacophony wrought upon your ears is the sound of the patterns on these shorts being forced together like adjoining tectonic plates.  You know, geological catastrophe just doesn't look so worrying now this abomination has given us such a helpful perspective on the apocalypse.

Topshop, £30.