Oh look, we're being stared at again

Many kinds of ugly have converged unhappily on this dress.  It's a bit like a conference for dysfunctional patterns, where the delegates get to teambuild in tight migraine formation before going home to slide themselves back into their wallpaper pattern book collection.

This partial black ladder and diamond pattern laid atop a desperately perky chintz is a particular success at this year's symposium of horror (keynote speaker:  Linda Barker). That diamond pattern at least allows the chest of the wearer to stare right back at that unpleasant sweaty bloke from Accounts.

And of couse there's a peplum.  There's always a peplum.

River Island, £45.