Happy New - Gah!

Generally, most garments can be safely categorised as a dress, shirt,  blouse, tarpaulin, etc.  This item, however, will defy taxonomy, and even the most advanced mathematician will be hard pressed to provide an adequate Venn diagram of fashion to incorporate this startling offering from Asos.

I suppose there is something brave about the entire lack of symmetry, the mystifying school-shirt collar and cape-style sleeve, but it's the kind of bravery fuelled by fly agaric mushrooms and big swords.  Fashion magazines will probably describe this as 'adventurous', but the fluorescence will already have warned us off, thanks.

Asos, £70.