Beige is all the rage - if you can summon up enough energy to get even slightly exercised by this tedious garment

Ladies wearing this will be bored into catatonia so rigid, workmen will be able to carry them under their arms like planks.

It's light brown, it's mid-length, it's poylester, an..........<zzzzzzzzzz>  Oh, sorry, drifted off there for a few moments.

Yes, River Island, we will gladly pay thirty quid to squander our remaining existence in a fog of tedium.