God, I had nothing to wear this morning, so I slipped into my laptop carry case

This dress is made of neoprene.  It hangs as if permanently inflated, and to complete the computing theme it is graced with a repeating pattern of silicon chips.  This, I suspect, is couture imagined by Bender.

The unlucky wearer will feel as if they have been loosely encased in a wetsuit made for a basking shark.

Asos, £75 (includes insupportable degree of self-consciousness and an immediate urge to slip into something more comfortable, like a coma).