Monday 3 October 2011

Sorry love, but I'm blinded by the glint off your knickers

Lurex panel knicker shorts, £18, River Island.

These are exactly the same shape as the terrible PE shorts required of girls at my old school. While I must admit personal trauma has coloured my judgement about sport-luxe attire, I do feel that running lurex thread through the front and back panels glamourises an otherwise terrible garment in all of the following ways:

1 None.


If these shorts qualify as outerwear, then the height of the waist is regrettable. If they are foundation garments, adding a bit of sparkle to something this big and all-enveloping is surely in vain.  Perhaps only the 118 guys could carry them off - preferably to some location where thirty-seven feet of God's good earth will form a satisfactorily compacted and durable sedimentary layer.

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