Doctor Frankenstein does couture. Badly.

Seventies kids will remember the sensation of trying to peel their legs off the imitation-leather seats of a hot car.  If you came away with your skin intact, you rewarded yourself with an ice pop and a root through the sideboard for that bottle of sherry your nana kept for special occasions.

The upper half of this dress has been lovingly handcrafted from the upholstery of a 1973 Austin Allegro, and the lower half from some old blackout curtains found in the shed when Uncle Bernard died horribly of piles, leaving the house to that floozy he met in the bookies.

The gaps at each side - does anyone want to see the side of one's waist?  It's like daringly revealing an elbow or something.

£45 for a dress which will be impossible to remove in temperatures above 20 degrees celsius.

Miss Selfridge.