Move around too quickly and all the balloons at the party will stick to you

Well, I don't know quite why there is a skull-like lizard thing emerging from the maelstrom of mismatched colour on this frock, but there is something distinctly extraterrestrial about the pattern, which is another very good reason not to wear something which looks as if it were hastily snatched off a Victorian dining-table before little Master Archibald had another of his bilious attacks.

Still, that fringing though, eh?  No?  Oh, OK.

£69 for hot, scratchy, polyester:  Topshop, you know how to spoil a girl.