Solve all your unsightly vanity table problems!

I often go into River Island to touch up the garments, which makes me feel a bit dirty.

Stranger motivations aside, I want to confirm that the material of a garment is really as nasty as it looks on the web page.  For the record, many of the clothes are actually of good quality. The styles are hair-raising, but at least the fabric's good.

I fear this may not be the case with Ms Polly Ester over here. Anyone wearing this will look like a four-year-old dressing up in Mum's underskirt pretending to be a princess, and the crackle from the synthetic textile will startle the cat.  

Forty quid for something which looks like a survivor from Brentford Nylons.