Wallpaper ombre shirt, £45.
Topshop are flogging this design to death. If you're a regular FailRailer - and I do hope you are, sirrah - you'll recall a shirtwaist dress whose charming combination of overdone floral and colour-block yellow invited sinners to everlasting damnation. I see Topshop have attempted to soften the pattern with a blue border detail, but all this does is suggest to onlookers the queasy sensation of clinging desperately to the wreckage of a torpedoed warship, the horizon lurid with the flames.
One would have hoped Topshop were a little more frivolous, somehow.
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