What the nurses put you in if you forget to bring your own pyjamas

This strangely bland and amorphous frock is inspired by the plain, modest attire encouraged in the indigent poor to prepare them for a life of servitude in dank sculleries.   A style more usually to be seen on a peg dolly or something about to be cursed in a voodoo ceremony.

Oasis, sixty quid!  Label fans will be heartened to learn that the dress is made from abaca.  This is a relative of the banana, but presumably one Mr and Mrs Banana never speak to, as abaca is a bit rough.