Elves knit these for River Island, you know

Older readers will instantly recognise the pattern on these leggings as the static on a badly-tuned television, somewhere between Welsh TV and Channel 4.  The attendant hiss contains remnants of the Big Bang, which is a novel thing to record on a pair of trousers, but we've had all kinds of subatomic and interplanetary garments on here before, haven't we?

I don't think Professor Brian Cox will fancy me in these, though.

£22.