What's particularly galling about this offering from Topshop is the unpleasant admixture of brown and black, which makes me think of sheds, for some reason; and this tiresome dogtooth print was better left in the fifties, where it was last seen adorning the second-best coat of a minor Foreign Office official.
Goodness, the cut! That unforgiving structure will emphasise even the briefest patch of cellulite, and make your knees look like a giraffe's.
£45: all you'll get is some tight cords and six months of unrelenting gloom.
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