Yes, I'd love to go out looking like a cardboard tube

Readers will protest that this coat is neither grotesque nor amusingly patterned, and therefore not a suitable entry for the Fail Rail.

But, Fail Fans, note the mannish cut, deep revers and lack of buttons.  This unfitted structure will make women of all figures look dumpy and egg-shaped, and the looseness of the cut will encourage unexpected chilly gusts at bus stops.

It's all very well giving a nod to the eighties, but really, not with Grandad's crombie, which will be redolent of Vick's and roll-ups.  Nostalgic, but you'll have to explain why you're dressed in an old man's coat and smell of church halls.

Topshop, £175.